


You're an Asshole

by Full_Moon_Lover



Series: 25 Days of Christmas 2017 [17]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Dan Howell, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-16 07:53:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13049757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Full_Moon_Lover/pseuds/Full_Moon_Lover
Summary: We were both playing wingman for our friends who have now decided to go home together, and after five minutes of conversation, we hate each other. Let's bang it out.





	You're an Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> I made the mistake of writing this fic down on my Writing Notebook and now I'm terrified it will end up in the wrong hands.

Dan didn’t think his best friend was being serious when he asked him to be his wingman. He couldn’t even get a date for himself, what made PJ think he was any good at getting other people dates?

His best friend ignored all his excuses and forced Dan to go to the bar with him, hoping to meet someone he liked. That’s how Dan found himself sitting with PJ at the bar, eating chips and feeling uncomfortable. “You have met no one you like,” Dan complained. “Can’t we leave and try again another day?” 

Just as PJ looked as if he could be convinced to leave, a woman came up to the bar to order a drink. Dan groaned when he saw his friend’s face light up, realising they weren’t going anywhere until PJ got the chance to talk to her. 

PJ heard him and kicked him in the shin. “Don’t be rude,” he hissed at him. “Help me out.” 

Dan didn’t know how he was supposed to do that. “Hi,” he said, turning to look at the girl PJ had his eyes on. “My friend over here would like to offer you a drink. What are you having?” 

PJ groaned loud enough for Dan to hear him and he turned to glare at him. “I told you I was bad at this,” he hissed. “What did you expect?” 

The girl they were trying to impress burst out laughing but she looked amused rather than put off. “I’ll have that drink but only because you two seem like a funny pair. You need to work on your social skills though.” 

Dan liked this girl. Not only did she laugh at his awkwardness rather than judging him for it, but she also looked interested in PJ. He was one step closer to finally being able to leave. All he had to do was make sure PJ, and this girl hit it off. That was easier said than done. 

However, Dan was pleasantly surprised to see PJ and Sophie were getting along well, barely needing any input from him. Maybe his job was done and he could finally go home like he wanted to do from the beginning of the night. 

When PJ asked Sophie if she wanted to go somewhere else, Dan couldn’t be happier. His job was done and he barely even needed to do anything. His face fell when he saw Sophie hesitating. If she declined PJ would be in a bad mood for the rest of the night and Dan would be the one having to deal with it. 

“My friend is waiting for me back at our table. I feel bad leaving him by himself,” she said, looking conflicted. 

Dan sighed, knowing what he had to do. “I could keep your friend company if you want?” he offered. It would mean he couldn’t go back home right away as he hoped but at least he wouldn’t have to deal with PJ’s whining for the rest of the night. 

“Are you sure it wouldn’t be a problem?” she asked. 

Dan nodded, trying to look more excited over having to spend time with Sophie’s friend than he actually was. “I don’t mind. You guys have fun.” 

Sophie stood up and led him over to where her friend was sitting down, playing on his phone. “Hey Phil,” she said, getting his attention. “You were right, I didn’t need your help after all. He asked me to go over to his place. This is his friend Dan, and he’s going to keep you company because I feel bad leaving you on your own.” 

She left before Phil even had the chance to argue and Dan couldn’t help but feel impressed over how Sophie got what she wanted without barely even trying. 

They were left to stare at each other, both feeling awkward and unsure over what to say.

Dan sat down in front of him and attempted to smile. “Let me guess, you were Sophie’s wingman?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Not exactly. She liked the guy at the bar, I thought she could do better and refused to help her. She did just fine on her own though.” 

Dan stiffened and looked at Phil in shock. “You know that’s my best friend you’re talking about, right?” He was attempting to remain polite, but it was hard when a stranger was insinuating his friend was not good enough. Dan acted like he didn’t care most of the time but he was protective of the people he cares about. 

“So? Just because he's your friend doesn’t mean I can’t speak my mind.” 

“No, but it makes you an asshole,” Dan snapped, glaring at him. Their interaction wasn’t what Dan was expecting when he offered to keep Sophie’s friend company. In his imagination there was more gratitude and less snapping. 

“No one is forcing you to stick around,” Phil said, rolling his eyes. “Sophie is gone and she won’t know if you leave so you should just go.” 

“Maybe I will.” 

“Fine by me.” 

*

Dan wasn’t sure how they went from glaring at each other to making out against the wall outside of the bar. He didn’t even know who made the first move. All he knew of was that he didn’t hate it. 

“Your place or mine?” Phil mumbled against his lips. 

Dan only lived a few minutes away from the bar so he offered his place for their rendezvous. He didn’t think he could wait around for a taxi to show up and take them to Phil’s place. “We can go to mine.” 

They got to Dan’s apartment in five minutes; a record for him. It was good to know he wasn’t the only one excited for what was to come and in a rush. 

Dan could barely even bother with closing the door behind them. He was more interested in leading Phil to his bedroom and getting to what they both had in mind. 

Phil pulled him in for a kiss and kept walking back until Dan’s legs hit the bed and he fell down. “Come here,” dan said, looking up at Phil with lustful eyes. 

Phil got on the bed, hovering over Dan and the other boy shivered as Phil leaned in closer. “Not calling me an asshole now are you?” he said, lowering himself until their bodies were flush against each other and Dan’s legs wrapped around his waist. Their clothes were the only thing separating them from each other. 

“Don’t get any funny ideas. I still think you’re an asshole but you’re an asshole I wouldn’t mind having sex with,” Dan smirked. 

Phil kissed down his neck, moving his shirt out of the way as he moved along. Dan cried out as Phil bit into a sensitive spot, hands coming up to grip the other boy’s hair tightly.

“Sorry, you were saying?” Phil smirked, teeth scraping over the sensitive spot now that he knew how it was affecting Dan. 

They stripped each other of their clothes, throwing them away without even checking where they were landing. Both moaned at the feeling of their cocks brushing against each other. It sent sparks of pleasure shooting up Phil’s spine. 

Dan thrust his hips up to get more friction but Phil stopped him by grabbing his hips and holding him down. “Patience,” he said, smug smile making Dan grit his teeth. 

“Please,” Dan said, fighting Phil’s hold on his hips. Phil kissed him and slipped his hand between them, rubbing his hand over Dan’s cock. 

Dan panted against his mouth, whines and moans slipping out of his mouth. The sounds he was making only spurred Phil on. He loved the effect he was having on Dan and was determined to make it even better. 

The sight of Dan writhing underneath him and begging for more had Phil biting his lip to hold back from moaning himself. “Tell me what you want,” he said in a low voice that had Dan shivering. 

“Please Phil,” Dan said, looking at him through hazy eyes. “More.” 

Phil smirked and leaned back, getting up from the bed. “Where do you keep the lube?” 

He opened the drawer Dan pointed at and got out a bottle of lube. Phil turned back to Dan and glared when he saw the other boy stroking his cock. He crawled back over Dan and swatted his hand away. “No touching.” 

Leaning down, Phil swallowed Dan’s cock as far as he could. If it was possible, he would have smirked at hearing the groan Dan let out. 

Dan thrust forwards to meet him and Phil moaned around his cock, feeling the tip press to the back of his throat. Phil swirled his tongue around Dan’s tongue, wanting to give him as much pleasure as possible and was rewarded with a shiver wrecking through Dan’s body. 

Phil pulled off with a pop and gazed at Dan’s body, sprawled out on the bed. Dan pulled him on top of him once again and into a needy kiss that made Phil’s toes curl with pleasure. “I want you to fuck me, please Phil,” Dan groaned. 

Phil opened the bottle of lube and spread some on his fingers. He leaned down, tugging on one of Dan’s nipples with his teeth. Phil swirled one of his fingers around Dan’s entrance before slipping it in. Dan threw his head back, mouth open in a silent scream of pleasure. 

As Phil inserted the second finger, Dan thrust his hips in time with his movements. “You look so good, spread out underneath me like this,” Phil said. 

Phil pulled his fingers out and rolled their bodies around until Dan was sitting on top of him. “I want you to ride me.” Seeing Dan sitting on top of him and looking dishevelled was enough to make him moan. 

He took his cock in hand, spreading lube over it then he lined himself up. Phil grabbed onto Dan’s hips and pulled him down until he was sinking on his cock with a grunt.   
Dan held himself still for a moment, gazing at Phil. “Are you sure you’re ready?” he asked, smirking. It didn’t slip his notice that with their new positions, Dan now had the upper hand. 

“Show me what you’ve got,” Phil said, gripping Dan’s waist. 

Dan moved up and down slowly, wanting to tease, and sighed at the feeling of Phil’s cock sliding inside him. Placing a hand on Phil’s chest, he moved fervently, slamming himself down on the other boy’s cock. Moans were slipping out of his mouth and he wasn’t trying to hold them in anymore. 

Phil gave as good as he got. He met each of Dan’s thrusts with his hips, using one of his hands to pinch and tease Dan’s nipples into hardness. 

All you could hear were the sounds of their skin slapping together and the moans and groans coming out of their mouths. 

Phil pulled Dan down for a desperate kiss and the other boy whined as the new angle ensured Phil’s cock was hitting his prostate with each thrust. 

“Fuck,” Dan moaned, gripping onto the bed sheets to anchor himself as the pleasure coursing through his body overwhelmed him. 

Phil abandoned Dan’s sensitive nipples and took a hold of the other boy’s neglected cock. He smirked at the desperate sound Dan let out and tugged on it, wanting him to reach his peak. 

“Come for me,” Phil ordered, matching the strokes of Dan’s cock to the thrusts of their bodies. 

Dan cried out in pleasure as his orgasm was ripped from him, spurts of cum coating Phil’s hand and his own stomach. He felt his body give out from the pleasure it was subjected to and Dan collapsed down on Phil. 

Phil rolled them over once again and grabbed onto Dan’s hips. He thrust into him roughly, determined on chasing his own orgasm. It didn’t take long until he was moaning and spilling inside Dan. 

Dan moved when he felt like his body could hold itself up, whimpering as Phil’s cock slipped from his body. He rolled himself to the side, and they lay next to each other for a few minutes, both panting and trying to catch their breath. 

“That was really hot,” Phil said once he felt like he could speak. 

“It really was,” Dan agreed. “You’re still an asshole though.” 

Phil could live with that.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this was way better than the smut I wrote in the beginning of the 25 Days of Christmas. What do you guys think? 
> 
> Also, wearing protection is important. It's not in the story because....well because I forgot and by the time i remembered I didn't know how to add it in without ruining the flow of the story. Don't forget like me. 
> 
> Guys remember that you can follow me on Tumblr for updates and general Dan and Phil goodness http://fiction-phan.tumblr.com/


End file.
